Friday, November 8, 2013

The Doldrums

The doldrums.

Apparently originally used to refer to a marine area just around the equator where the waters are perpetually calm, making it difficult to sail.

That first, frantic, delighted burst of novelmania has worn off, and I've settled down to the long haul that has traditionally represented the middle of my stories. This is the part where I've most consistently flown off course, or simply drifted into the Bermuda Triangle, never to be heard from again.

I have noted differences, however, between this trip into the deep and those preceding it. First of all, I still want to write. I've continued to hammer out words, although not at nearly so voracious a pace, despite having had a hellishly busy and annoying week at work. I had a presentation on Monday, meetings Wednesday and Thursday morning, and was on the desk many of my remaining hours, dealing with our eclectic and not always patient group of patrons.

I respect the workers in my profession, but I really believe I was meant to hide behind a desk, in a room with a cat, writing stories. I'm happiest there, even if I'm not making a dime. When I'm writing, that's when the people I meet get to see the real me, the one who's excited to be where she is. When I write, there's an inner glow that's hard to mistake.

This time, I have an entire weekend with nothing ahead of me. No OCD lists to complete (more about those some other time, when we have a full therapy session to devote to my neuroses), no chores, no family events, and most of our friends are busy or out of town. I'm just going to write. If I've earned it in my word count, I may treat myself to seeing the new "Thor" movie I've been looking forward to.

22,582 down, 27,418 words to go.

This time, I'm getting out of the doldrums even if I have to get out and push the boat forward.

Inspiration: getting out of my job, and the satisfaction of seeing that little blue bar that marks my daily NaNoWriMo word count go up and up and up

Music: Maaya Sakamoto's Live "We Are Kazyomi" tour, and Joe Hisaishi's "Melody Blvd."  Also the annoyingly catchy song "You've Got Possibilities," from the unlamented Superman musical.

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