Drive

So the snow has finally receded...maybe. Please? And for the moment there is no more on the horizon. You can't possibly begin to imagine how happy I am at this moment. For all you winter-lovers, sorry, but all of us here in the Tri-State Area are downright sick of it. Not to mention the fact that some places have actually run out of salt to put on the unending supply of black ice!

Anyway, I've been spending a lot of my indoor time watching the Olympics, and I came across a commercial that pretty much horrified me. It started out by talking about how other countries value their leisure time, and take it easy. And here I am thinking, "Finally! Someone will stand up and say that America has a workaholic culture and it's time to do something about it!"

And then it goes on to say that the people in other countries are idiots.

Here in America, you should work your butt off. Why? So you can spend your money on nice things, like this shiny car, and show them off to all your friends! The American working spirit put men on the moon, says the commercial. It made us a top country in the world.

All right, so there is so much wrong here that it is absolutely frightening.

"As for all the stuff? That's the upside of only taking two weeks off."

American determination and drive are good things. I value them. I think that you shouldn't skate by in life, you should work hard to get what you want.

But that's not what this is about. This is about greed, pure and simple. I want this car so I can show my friends and family how much better than them I am. And the more I buy, the better I will feel about myself, so spend, SPEND, SPEND!

You may be wondering where I'm going with this, and how it relates to my writing in some way. Well, it does, so keep reading.

This morning, I read the latest blog post from Deborah Chester, a great sci-fi and fantasy author who also blogs about the writing craft. She reminds us that if left too long, our writing talents will rust. If you stop writing, you'll never get better.

She likens books to fine crystal - a book may take a long time to make, but it will be worthwhile in the end because of its beauty, even if it's not disposable, easily cleaned, or convenient. As Emerson said, "Beauty is its own excuse for being."

The American work ethic is valuable because it encourages us to expand our horizons, to push the limits of what is possible and see what lies beyond. It's not about feeding into the consumerist idea of getting more and more regardless of quality or common sense. It's about working hard enough to achieve your goals, and then stepping back to enjoy the beauty of what you've created, or bought with the income you've earned.

A Cadillac may or may not be a great car. I don't know. But it shouldn't simply be relegated to a status symbol, popular because of the name. Hard work shouldn't be about status, but about substance.

You should work hard to support your family, to create your art, or to be proud of yourself for whatever accomplishments you achieve. But if you're always striving for the next expensive item, then you really have missed the entire point of the American working spirit.

I work hard because I think my writing is of value to the world. I want to write to help people, to give them a place to put away their troubles for a time, characters to relate to so they can feel less alone and awkward, and a world that they can live in and share with others so everyone can enjoy it together. Lofty goals, sure, but if I work hard, I believe I can accomplish them. That's what drives me to succeed.

Perhaps it's just me, but if "caring for others" takes less time than leisure and sports,
you may want to revise your priorities.

Blog. Even When Your Head Is In A Fog.

So I'm writing this post with absolutely no idea where it's going.

That's a new one, even for me.

Usually, when I feel this aimless and my head is this far in the clouds, I try to get it down before attempting to put pen to paper, or in this case, fingers to keyboard. Nevertheless, here I am, because it's been two weeks and my head is still foggy.

Winter is my least favorite season, and if you asked me for a list of reasons why, it would probably look like one of those cartoon lists, the kind that come in a small scroll that unrolls all the way to the ground and then keeps on rolling out the door.

Picture from toonclips.com.
I sympathize, sir. Truly, I do.

But the worst thing about winter, for me, is how depressed I get. I don't know if it's Seasonal Affective Disorder (appropriately nicknamed SAD), cabin fever, the really short days, or just holiday and post-holiday stress, but December and January always seem to drag.

I had all this writing energy in November, and even the air seemed electric. The chill seemed to tingle along my spine and fingers as I typed, and I really felt like I was pushing forward. It didn't hurt that the little word counter kept filling up and turning green when I hit my quota for the day. I need that counter for every day. I even wrote NaNoWriMo an e-mail asking for it for next year.

But now, I'm sitting here in front of my keyboard, writing an aimless blog post because I can barely remember what part of my story I was at, let alone what to do with it next. Everyone keeps saying that the only cure for writer's block is writing, but that doesn't make the page any less blank, or my brain any less stressed about having no idea how to fix it.

Anyway, I think what I'm trying to get at, oh viewers who have yet to materialize, is that I'm looking forward to spring. In the meanwhile, I'll continue to cough up words here and stubbornly drag myself another day, another hour, another minute closer to being done. Edited. Published. And moving on.

Onward!

So I can finally breathe through my nose again. What a relief!

Everyone I know has been sick, although most of them appear to be on the mend by now. I'm back at work, and the rest of my life is progressing nicely. The cat is settling in - happily destroying our brand-new revolving chair and other furniture - and is so cute that we don't mind our home looking like a tornado blew through. I'll post pictures soon. I've finished "Write. Publish. Repeat." and really enjoyed it. More, I found it informative, inspirational, and useful.

See above for a really good book. Image taken from
The Creative Penn blog, another really great site for writers.

Although a lot of the advice isn't necessarily useful to me right now, since I'm not at the publishing stage of the game yet, it does make clear that the formula for success isn't in writing one great novel, but in several really good ones. And in writing consistently, not just publishing one book a year. There wasn't much advice on finishing books, but I'm starting to come to the unfortunate conclusion that there really is only one remedy for that problem.

It's what many writers refer to as BIC, or Butt-In-Chair, time. For some writers, myself included, this can sometimes be excruciatingly long and painful. It shouldn't be, especially when you love your stories as much as I love mine, but sometimes looking at your own work and realizing that you're not getting the words right is just horrible. It's like trying to talk to a boy you've got a crush on, and all you can do is stammer. You're trying so hard to get it right that everything seems to be coming out wrong, even if it's really not.

Inevitably, I'll look back over my own work later and have two trains of thought, running simultaneously towards each other on the same track from opposite directions. One says, "You know, this really isn't so bad after all." The other says, "You know, this really isn't particularly good after all. What were you thinking?"

That's what I'm going to be working on this year. In 2014, I'll be installing a switch on the tracks, and the bad-thoughts train will be sent on its way. Because I'm starting to realize something: it is not she who dreams of writing beautifully who gets ahead, but she who writes. Period. And if my first books go out into the world and aren't the best things I've ever written, that's not just okay, it's normal. But you can't get better if you never get started...



Inspiration: the thought of actually being a writer, and having actual people read my stuff. Including this blog. Maybe. Please?

Music: lots of Sara Bareilles that I can belt at the top of my lungs as I drive to work. "Say what you wanna say/and let the words fall out/honestly/I wanna see you be brave!"

Best-Laid Plans

"The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men, Gang aft agley," wrote Robert Burns, in his impeccably Scottish dialect. In other words, have an idea, start to follow through, and something will inevitably waylay you.

In this case, I made a New Year's resolution to be more healthy...and promptly came down with the flu.

So in addition to adding "GET A FLU SHOT!" to this year's list of resolutions, I want to talk about the push and pull of struggle versus the writer.

I've been reading a lot lately about how to become a published author, and much of the advice boils down to "Write. Publish. Repeat." (Incidentally, this is the title of a book I'm currently reading, by the charmingly funny Johnny B. Truant and Sean Platt)

This advice dovetails with advice I've been hearing from friends and reading in other books about how to live your life - "Think Positive. Act Confident and You Will Become Confident."

Well, that's just the problem.

I wonder, how does one take the first step? Is it a memorable Moment that demarcates one side of your life from the other - Before and After? Or is it a series of quiet steps, unremembered but vitally important, all stacked together to form a jagged, dragging line into the person you want to become?

I never know if I'm moving forward on days like these, or backwards, or not moving at all. Looking at it objectively, I know that I'm not the same person I was a year ago - married, living on my own. And yet, in terms of my dreams, I'm not necessarily sure I've taken a step forward. Yes, I finished NaNoWriMo, but I didn't actually complete my novel yet. Yes, I'm learning more about self-publishing, but I'm still not published.

When I'm ill, as I have been for the last several days, it brings me back to my childhood, when I was often ill - usually with no idea what I'd done to cause it. I've managed to iron out most of my health problems over the years, but there are still days when I believe I'll always be the sickly little girl who's missing out on something important.

I think what I'm trying to say is that being sick has given me one more resolution to add to the list:

Be well not just physically. Be well mentally, spiritually. Don't be the girl looking out the window, waiting for life to happen to her, waiting to be strong enough to go outside and brave the world. Don't miss out on the important things in life.

That said, the view out my window isn't terrible, considering it's the dead of winter.
Resolution: take picture again in spring, with me sitting outside.

New Year's Resolutions 2014

Every year, people come up with New Year's Resolutions, and I admit that I am often among those who come up with ideas and follow through for approximately 17.5 hours (statistic from the Bureau of I Made It Up But It's Still Mostly True Facts), at which time I promptly settle back into my comfy existence just as it was.

Well, it's a lot harder to do that when your resolutions are on display for the whole world to see, so here I am.

Over the past year, a lot has happened to me and surprisingly, I actually have carried out several of my resolutions. I got married, moved, and got a kitten. That's enough to make anyone's head spin. But I also learned to use social media - and kept up with it! - and lost 10 pounds. So it's not impossible to change, and make those changes stick.

Thus, without further ado, I present my list of proposed changes for 2014:

-More social media. Regular blog posts, including posts in some new, themed blogs I intend to create. I will blog, tweet, and write until my head spins because damn it, I am a writer, and this is the year I am going to prove it!

Isn't this chart neat? The trick will be remembering all the passwords...

-Published novels! I have three in progress and THIS IS THE YEAR. The year of the novel. You see how that was all in bold? That is because I am going to be bold! Not only are all of my novels going to be completed, they're going to be scrubbed until they shine like the top of the Chrysler Building, edited by scalpel, chisel, and axe if necessary, and they are going to have the most rocking cover art a (mostly broke) writer can buy.

Too true, sir. Too true.

-Lose 10 pounds. Always.

-Eat more healthfully. As in, diet not consisting solely of pasta, wraps, and chocolate. It's not easy eating green, but it must be done.

-Stay more positive. This is a tough one for me sometimes, especially in winter. I bought myself a present with some of my holiday money: The Quotable Walt Disney. Not only is it uplifting, it's inspiring to me as a writer. It reminds me of just what you can achieve if you believe in your imagination.

It's a picture of social media stuff, but it also likes all
of my New Year's Resolutions. You see what I did there?

So that it, blogosphere. I'll be checking in throughout the year with news of how it's going. And this year, I'll be checking in regularly. :)

Happy and healthy New Year, all! See you in 2014!

Cinnamon-Cocoa Cookies

In a break from the recent NaNoWriMo posts, as I've currently stalled at 61,000 (moving and getting a hyperactive kitten might have had something to do with that), I'm posting my recipe for cinnamon-cocoa cookies. I made this up myself, from a hybrid of other recipes, and I'm still perfecting it, but they taste pretty darn good as is. Enjoy!

Cinnamon-Cocoa Cookie Recipe

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix:

1 cup butter (plus 1/4 of next stick for extra fluffiness)

1 1/2 cups white sugar

Stir In:

1 egg

1 1/2 tablespoons molasses

2 1/4 cups flour

1 1/8 tsp baking soda

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup cocoa (less, to keep the cookies thinner)

Drop by teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes.

Yum. Just pure Yum.

Anyway, a variant of this recipe did actually make it into the finals of a Huffington Post chocolate chip cookie contest, so try it out if you like. I can't promise anything, but everyone who tried them liked them, so take that for what it's worth. :)

Doggedly Dragging Out the Words

Sometimes, writing comes easily. Words pour out like water bursting through a dam.

Sometimes, it does not.

After I hit NaNoWriMo's 50,000 word count, I kept a great deal of momentum. I haven't slacked off entirely - in fact, in the last 8 days, I have added an additional 10,000 words. But I wrote 25,000 words per 8 days for the first half of the month, and I do feel a bit disappointed in myself for having had some days where I didn't write, where I played Pokémon or watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, instead.

I could tell you that it's because I'm stressed about moving and our lawyer not having pinned down a closing date, or because I'm having angst about a kitten which I may or may not be able to adopt despite desperately wanting to. And these things are true. I've had some lovely nightmares, and have become very familiar with what the world sounds like at 4 in the morning.

But it's not the complete truth, and if you can't tell the truth to your (potential, one day, maybe) blog readers, who can you tell?

The truth is, I have let myself get out of the habit of writing. It's easier. It's less scary. What used to be my favorite activity has become fraught with fear, as I'm terrified that after every word, the well will dry up for good. There will be no more inspiration. I'm so afraid to fail that I haven't let myself try.

So here I am, writing a blog post. Because it's shorter, easier, but it's not a complete step away from writing. I may not be looking at my novel, but I still see a blank page that needs to be filled. And tonight, I'm going to try to get back to my writing.

To anyone who may read this at a later date and think, "Gee, that sounds like me," all I can tell you is this:

I don't know if it leads anywhere. I don't know if you'll ever be read, your work loved. I don't know if my work will ever be read or loved either.

But don't give up. I think quitting without even trying to achieve your dream is still infinitely sadder than being lazy, or failing time after time.

Seriously,

Just
Don't
Give
Up.