NaNoWriMo Strikes Again!

Wow!

So last year, I got to 50,000 words in only 16 days! Which is really, really crazy.

So this year, I decided to be even crazier. Why not, right? You only live once. (Unless you're a writer. Then you get to live right along with as many characters as you can cram into your head.)

So this year I present to you, using Kickstarter terminology for easy understanding, Erica's Super-Insane-Amazing Stretch Goal:

This year

I am going to write

100,000

words

in 30 days.

Wow.

Image from DeviantArt, by Merian Rose

I'm working on the sequel not to the novel I wrote in last year's NaNoWriMo - that one is undergoing extensive revision as the giant world that it is set in just seems to want to keep expanding and detailing itself even further.

Instead, I'm writing the sequel to a novel I started back in my senior year of college, a novel that I took out of storage on and off for approximately six years before I finally sat down and finished the darn thing this past summer. I'm incredibly proud of it, and have finally started the process of getting it published.

Considering that there's actually a decent chance the novel will be out in the world early sometime next year, I figured I'd better get going with the sequel. And now that I've finally started to get my life where I want it to be, it's time to work my butt off getting my writing career to where I want it as well. I've made great progress these last few months, and don't want to slow down until I'm done with book 2.

So wish me luck, love, and lots and lots of chocolate!

Inspiration: My mother telling me she really liked the first novel. My mother is a tough critic even of her daughter, so that's real praise.

Music: Silence while writing, but there was much Maaya Sakamoto yesterday, particularly her new album. I love Replica and the piano take on Be Mine is amazing. The speed at which she blisters through the song on the recorded track, and the high notes she hits seem impossible. But then you hear her do the same thing live with just a piano in the background, and you can see that she's The Real Deal.

I Did Not Fall Off A Cliff...

...Although frankly, you could never tell since I haven't updated this blog in over two months now!

Well, a lot has happened in those two months. I've changed jobs, and am trying to move forward with my writing in a more active and meaningful way. While I really enjoyed my work at my former job, it was clear to me that I would not be able to move forward in a direction that helped me achieve my goals for my life, either personally or professionally.

In my former position, my technical skills were both blessing and curse, in that I felt valued and needed for them, but I was also pigeonholed. I am happy to have been able to do what I was good at, but when my abilities in one area started to prevent me from pursuing my passions in other areas, I realized that I had to move on. I'm grateful for every opportunity that has brought me to where I am now - I've always maintained the philosophy that every step of the road is what it needed to be if you got where you wanted to go. After all, who knows how one small change might impact other things?

Nevertheless, I am actively in the process of retooling my skill set and improving my writing skills to make sure that I don't run into the same issue again. I love books. I love writing. I am creative. I am proud of the qualities that make me who I am.

I want every job I have in the future, whether as a writer, librarian, or something in an entirely different field, to reflect who I am and what makes me special. I don't want this just because I will enjoy my job more, but because taking joy in your work ensures that you will give your best effort every day without ever having to worry about burning out.

So what does this mean for my journey as a writer? Well, it means I've had more time to improve my body and my mind. I've started taking exercise classes, jogging with a friend, and have read several books to make me a better author and creator. For starters, I highly recommend Austin Kleon's "Steal Like An Artist," and its fun follow-up, "Show Your Work!"

The books are full of cheerful gems of wisdom like this one above.

And in light of the above piece of advice, I am no longer referring to myself as an "aspiring" author. I am an author. As I grow more knowledgeable, I am becoming more confident too. My works may still be in progress, but they are moving forward, and I have no intention of giving up on them. Now that I've got my head together, you're going to start seeing more fun stuff from me, like pieces of my actual work popping up on my blog. I can't wait to share it with you!

Growth as a Writer

It's been hard to blog lately, and I am clearly aware of why. Without going into too many details, suffice it to say that my life has not been moving in a direction I had hoped it would. I'm taking steps to reroute, but it's difficult to put myself out on the web, knowing that I can't be completely forthright.

I've seen it said before, by other well-known and successful writers, that you have to put aside others' hopes for you, their opinions of you, in order to write. For some people, the expectations of who you were supposed to be were already lowered. J.K. Rowling and Nora Roberts were both single mothers without lucrative careers when they first started writing seriously. Rowling scraped the edge of poverty, relying on family to get by. She doesn't speak of it, but I can't imagine they were pleased at what she'd done with her life at the time.

Others, like Barbara Hambly, write in their journals of how they tried other careers. Hambly was student teaching in a high school when she created her first novel, "Time of the Dark." Casually, she speaks of losing any chance of getting a teaching job when Proposition 13 went through. Almost as an afterthought, she details having spent 30 months working for her father's company while she continued writing, a dead-end job that she knew was going nowhere.

30 months.

In other words, two and a half years.

Some people can move forward while pursuing other interests. Many writers have, and do, continue in second careers even as their writing becomes lucrative. Hambly is a well-known writer - she's won and been nominated for several Locus awards. Even as she writes, she also teaches college classes, and she enjoys doing so.

But there's a point where you have to step back, and look at your life, and ask "Where is this leading me?" And if your answer is "Not to anything that I want," then you have to reevaluate.

I reached that point several months ago. To be honest, I probably knew I was going the wrong direction over a year ago. But fear can be a powerful motivator to avoid change. After all, if Option A didn't work, who's to say that Option B will do any better? Nevertheless, you have to try.

Moving forward from here, I have started to look hard at what I want from my life. I have a wonderful husband, cat, and home. I will have to work hard to keep them. But I have to make certain that I'm not putting home before happiness. I love my new house and will fight to keep it. But I will also fight to be able to do so in a manner that makes me happy, and fulfills me.

I want to work hard. I want what I do to make a difference. And I want to do work that I am passionate about, that I can be proud of having done. It's time to change directions, so I can once again look forward to telling the world about all the exciting things I plan to do.

Drive

So the snow has finally receded...maybe. Please? And for the moment there is no more on the horizon. You can't possibly begin to imagine how happy I am at this moment. For all you winter-lovers, sorry, but all of us here in the Tri-State Area are downright sick of it. Not to mention the fact that some places have actually run out of salt to put on the unending supply of black ice!

Anyway, I've been spending a lot of my indoor time watching the Olympics, and I came across a commercial that pretty much horrified me. It started out by talking about how other countries value their leisure time, and take it easy. And here I am thinking, "Finally! Someone will stand up and say that America has a workaholic culture and it's time to do something about it!"

And then it goes on to say that the people in other countries are idiots.

Here in America, you should work your butt off. Why? So you can spend your money on nice things, like this shiny car, and show them off to all your friends! The American working spirit put men on the moon, says the commercial. It made us a top country in the world.

All right, so there is so much wrong here that it is absolutely frightening.

"As for all the stuff? That's the upside of only taking two weeks off."

American determination and drive are good things. I value them. I think that you shouldn't skate by in life, you should work hard to get what you want.

But that's not what this is about. This is about greed, pure and simple. I want this car so I can show my friends and family how much better than them I am. And the more I buy, the better I will feel about myself, so spend, SPEND, SPEND!

You may be wondering where I'm going with this, and how it relates to my writing in some way. Well, it does, so keep reading.

This morning, I read the latest blog post from Deborah Chester, a great sci-fi and fantasy author who also blogs about the writing craft. She reminds us that if left too long, our writing talents will rust. If you stop writing, you'll never get better.

She likens books to fine crystal - a book may take a long time to make, but it will be worthwhile in the end because of its beauty, even if it's not disposable, easily cleaned, or convenient. As Emerson said, "Beauty is its own excuse for being."

The American work ethic is valuable because it encourages us to expand our horizons, to push the limits of what is possible and see what lies beyond. It's not about feeding into the consumerist idea of getting more and more regardless of quality or common sense. It's about working hard enough to achieve your goals, and then stepping back to enjoy the beauty of what you've created, or bought with the income you've earned.

A Cadillac may or may not be a great car. I don't know. But it shouldn't simply be relegated to a status symbol, popular because of the name. Hard work shouldn't be about status, but about substance.

You should work hard to support your family, to create your art, or to be proud of yourself for whatever accomplishments you achieve. But if you're always striving for the next expensive item, then you really have missed the entire point of the American working spirit.

I work hard because I think my writing is of value to the world. I want to write to help people, to give them a place to put away their troubles for a time, characters to relate to so they can feel less alone and awkward, and a world that they can live in and share with others so everyone can enjoy it together. Lofty goals, sure, but if I work hard, I believe I can accomplish them. That's what drives me to succeed.

Perhaps it's just me, but if "caring for others" takes less time than leisure and sports,
you may want to revise your priorities.

Blog. Even When Your Head Is In A Fog.

So I'm writing this post with absolutely no idea where it's going.

That's a new one, even for me.

Usually, when I feel this aimless and my head is this far in the clouds, I try to get it down before attempting to put pen to paper, or in this case, fingers to keyboard. Nevertheless, here I am, because it's been two weeks and my head is still foggy.

Winter is my least favorite season, and if you asked me for a list of reasons why, it would probably look like one of those cartoon lists, the kind that come in a small scroll that unrolls all the way to the ground and then keeps on rolling out the door.

Picture from toonclips.com.
I sympathize, sir. Truly, I do.

But the worst thing about winter, for me, is how depressed I get. I don't know if it's Seasonal Affective Disorder (appropriately nicknamed SAD), cabin fever, the really short days, or just holiday and post-holiday stress, but December and January always seem to drag.

I had all this writing energy in November, and even the air seemed electric. The chill seemed to tingle along my spine and fingers as I typed, and I really felt like I was pushing forward. It didn't hurt that the little word counter kept filling up and turning green when I hit my quota for the day. I need that counter for every day. I even wrote NaNoWriMo an e-mail asking for it for next year.

But now, I'm sitting here in front of my keyboard, writing an aimless blog post because I can barely remember what part of my story I was at, let alone what to do with it next. Everyone keeps saying that the only cure for writer's block is writing, but that doesn't make the page any less blank, or my brain any less stressed about having no idea how to fix it.

Anyway, I think what I'm trying to get at, oh viewers who have yet to materialize, is that I'm looking forward to spring. In the meanwhile, I'll continue to cough up words here and stubbornly drag myself another day, another hour, another minute closer to being done. Edited. Published. And moving on.

Onward!

So I can finally breathe through my nose again. What a relief!

Everyone I know has been sick, although most of them appear to be on the mend by now. I'm back at work, and the rest of my life is progressing nicely. The cat is settling in - happily destroying our brand-new revolving chair and other furniture - and is so cute that we don't mind our home looking like a tornado blew through. I'll post pictures soon. I've finished "Write. Publish. Repeat." and really enjoyed it. More, I found it informative, inspirational, and useful.

See above for a really good book. Image taken from
The Creative Penn blog, another really great site for writers.

Although a lot of the advice isn't necessarily useful to me right now, since I'm not at the publishing stage of the game yet, it does make clear that the formula for success isn't in writing one great novel, but in several really good ones. And in writing consistently, not just publishing one book a year. There wasn't much advice on finishing books, but I'm starting to come to the unfortunate conclusion that there really is only one remedy for that problem.

It's what many writers refer to as BIC, or Butt-In-Chair, time. For some writers, myself included, this can sometimes be excruciatingly long and painful. It shouldn't be, especially when you love your stories as much as I love mine, but sometimes looking at your own work and realizing that you're not getting the words right is just horrible. It's like trying to talk to a boy you've got a crush on, and all you can do is stammer. You're trying so hard to get it right that everything seems to be coming out wrong, even if it's really not.

Inevitably, I'll look back over my own work later and have two trains of thought, running simultaneously towards each other on the same track from opposite directions. One says, "You know, this really isn't so bad after all." The other says, "You know, this really isn't particularly good after all. What were you thinking?"

That's what I'm going to be working on this year. In 2014, I'll be installing a switch on the tracks, and the bad-thoughts train will be sent on its way. Because I'm starting to realize something: it is not she who dreams of writing beautifully who gets ahead, but she who writes. Period. And if my first books go out into the world and aren't the best things I've ever written, that's not just okay, it's normal. But you can't get better if you never get started...



Inspiration: the thought of actually being a writer, and having actual people read my stuff. Including this blog. Maybe. Please?

Music: lots of Sara Bareilles that I can belt at the top of my lungs as I drive to work. "Say what you wanna say/and let the words fall out/honestly/I wanna see you be brave!"

Best-Laid Plans

"The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men, Gang aft agley," wrote Robert Burns, in his impeccably Scottish dialect. In other words, have an idea, start to follow through, and something will inevitably waylay you.

In this case, I made a New Year's resolution to be more healthy...and promptly came down with the flu.

So in addition to adding "GET A FLU SHOT!" to this year's list of resolutions, I want to talk about the push and pull of struggle versus the writer.

I've been reading a lot lately about how to become a published author, and much of the advice boils down to "Write. Publish. Repeat." (Incidentally, this is the title of a book I'm currently reading, by the charmingly funny Johnny B. Truant and Sean Platt)

This advice dovetails with advice I've been hearing from friends and reading in other books about how to live your life - "Think Positive. Act Confident and You Will Become Confident."

Well, that's just the problem.

I wonder, how does one take the first step? Is it a memorable Moment that demarcates one side of your life from the other - Before and After? Or is it a series of quiet steps, unremembered but vitally important, all stacked together to form a jagged, dragging line into the person you want to become?

I never know if I'm moving forward on days like these, or backwards, or not moving at all. Looking at it objectively, I know that I'm not the same person I was a year ago - married, living on my own. And yet, in terms of my dreams, I'm not necessarily sure I've taken a step forward. Yes, I finished NaNoWriMo, but I didn't actually complete my novel yet. Yes, I'm learning more about self-publishing, but I'm still not published.

When I'm ill, as I have been for the last several days, it brings me back to my childhood, when I was often ill - usually with no idea what I'd done to cause it. I've managed to iron out most of my health problems over the years, but there are still days when I believe I'll always be the sickly little girl who's missing out on something important.

I think what I'm trying to say is that being sick has given me one more resolution to add to the list:

Be well not just physically. Be well mentally, spiritually. Don't be the girl looking out the window, waiting for life to happen to her, waiting to be strong enough to go outside and brave the world. Don't miss out on the important things in life.

That said, the view out my window isn't terrible, considering it's the dead of winter.
Resolution: take picture again in spring, with me sitting outside.

New Year's Resolutions 2014

Every year, people come up with New Year's Resolutions, and I admit that I am often among those who come up with ideas and follow through for approximately 17.5 hours (statistic from the Bureau of I Made It Up But It's Still Mostly True Facts), at which time I promptly settle back into my comfy existence just as it was.

Well, it's a lot harder to do that when your resolutions are on display for the whole world to see, so here I am.

Over the past year, a lot has happened to me and surprisingly, I actually have carried out several of my resolutions. I got married, moved, and got a kitten. That's enough to make anyone's head spin. But I also learned to use social media - and kept up with it! - and lost 10 pounds. So it's not impossible to change, and make those changes stick.

Thus, without further ado, I present my list of proposed changes for 2014:

-More social media. Regular blog posts, including posts in some new, themed blogs I intend to create. I will blog, tweet, and write until my head spins because damn it, I am a writer, and this is the year I am going to prove it!

Isn't this chart neat? The trick will be remembering all the passwords...

-Published novels! I have three in progress and THIS IS THE YEAR. The year of the novel. You see how that was all in bold? That is because I am going to be bold! Not only are all of my novels going to be completed, they're going to be scrubbed until they shine like the top of the Chrysler Building, edited by scalpel, chisel, and axe if necessary, and they are going to have the most rocking cover art a (mostly broke) writer can buy.

Too true, sir. Too true.

-Lose 10 pounds. Always.

-Eat more healthfully. As in, diet not consisting solely of pasta, wraps, and chocolate. It's not easy eating green, but it must be done.

-Stay more positive. This is a tough one for me sometimes, especially in winter. I bought myself a present with some of my holiday money: The Quotable Walt Disney. Not only is it uplifting, it's inspiring to me as a writer. It reminds me of just what you can achieve if you believe in your imagination.

It's a picture of social media stuff, but it also likes all
of my New Year's Resolutions. You see what I did there?

So that it, blogosphere. I'll be checking in throughout the year with news of how it's going. And this year, I'll be checking in regularly. :)

Happy and healthy New Year, all! See you in 2014!

Cinnamon-Cocoa Cookies

In a break from the recent NaNoWriMo posts, as I've currently stalled at 61,000 (moving and getting a hyperactive kitten might have had something to do with that), I'm posting my recipe for cinnamon-cocoa cookies. I made this up myself, from a hybrid of other recipes, and I'm still perfecting it, but they taste pretty darn good as is. Enjoy!

Cinnamon-Cocoa Cookie Recipe

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix:

1 cup butter (plus 1/4 of next stick for extra fluffiness)

1 1/2 cups white sugar

Stir In:

1 egg

1 1/2 tablespoons molasses

2 1/4 cups flour

1 1/8 tsp baking soda

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup cocoa (less, to keep the cookies thinner)

Drop by teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes.

Yum. Just pure Yum.

Anyway, a variant of this recipe did actually make it into the finals of a Huffington Post chocolate chip cookie contest, so try it out if you like. I can't promise anything, but everyone who tried them liked them, so take that for what it's worth. :)

Doggedly Dragging Out the Words

Sometimes, writing comes easily. Words pour out like water bursting through a dam.

Sometimes, it does not.

After I hit NaNoWriMo's 50,000 word count, I kept a great deal of momentum. I haven't slacked off entirely - in fact, in the last 8 days, I have added an additional 10,000 words. But I wrote 25,000 words per 8 days for the first half of the month, and I do feel a bit disappointed in myself for having had some days where I didn't write, where I played Pokémon or watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, instead.

I could tell you that it's because I'm stressed about moving and our lawyer not having pinned down a closing date, or because I'm having angst about a kitten which I may or may not be able to adopt despite desperately wanting to. And these things are true. I've had some lovely nightmares, and have become very familiar with what the world sounds like at 4 in the morning.

But it's not the complete truth, and if you can't tell the truth to your (potential, one day, maybe) blog readers, who can you tell?

The truth is, I have let myself get out of the habit of writing. It's easier. It's less scary. What used to be my favorite activity has become fraught with fear, as I'm terrified that after every word, the well will dry up for good. There will be no more inspiration. I'm so afraid to fail that I haven't let myself try.

So here I am, writing a blog post. Because it's shorter, easier, but it's not a complete step away from writing. I may not be looking at my novel, but I still see a blank page that needs to be filled. And tonight, I'm going to try to get back to my writing.

To anyone who may read this at a later date and think, "Gee, that sounds like me," all I can tell you is this:

I don't know if it leads anywhere. I don't know if you'll ever be read, your work loved. I don't know if my work will ever be read or loved either.

But don't give up. I think quitting without even trying to achieve your dream is still infinitely sadder than being lazy, or failing time after time.

Seriously,

Just
Don't
Give
Up.

Life After 50,000 (or Having Some Self-Confidence)

56,208.

I thought we should just get that out of the way first. I haven't stopped writing. My characters are still waiting for me to get a move-on and finish the story.

For the first time, I've really been on a streak where I believe I can get where I'm going. Self-confidence is a beautiful - and for me, incredibly rare - gift. And so I'm going to take this post to reflect on some things that helped me achieve this, in hopes that it will aid someone else out there:

1) I got married.

I know it's not for everyone, but let me tell you, there really are benefits. It wasn't just getting to be officially a Mrs. to the Mr. who's been my partner in every way for the last four and a half years. It wasn't about the beautiful ceremony, or the crazy fun party (although those were amazing).

It was the love.

Over 200 people from both his enormous family and mine came out to celebrate our being together. And instead of having a bunch of strangers who kept to themselves and waited for the whole thing to be over, I saw his grandmother dancing with my mother, our friends mixing and mingling with relatives of ours they'd never met. Also, I got to see some people whom I have known forever get inordinately drunk and profess how they love me like another child/grandchild/sister.

Being surrounded by so many people who not only love me, but really enjoyed being with each other was incredible. I highly recommend this to anyone - surround yourself with good people. It makes you feel better about yourself because they think well of you.

2) I am buying a house and getting cats.

Seriously, I know it makes me sound crazy - who wants all those extra bills, pets tearing up the furniture, all the worries of a mortgage - but I love it. I can't wait to have space again, to take a bath in a bathtub, to cook in a full kitchen, and to have meowing, purring buddies who attack my keyboard on a regular basis. Having something to look forward to is just as motivating as having something to look fondly back upon.

3) I wrote 56,000 words in 20 days and will likely have 70,000 by the end of the month. By the end of the year, I will have 3 completed novels which I will then edit, re-edit, edit some more until I want to tear my hair out, and then publish.

Having a goal to drive me forward, and having already completed a great deal of work on that path has been the confidence boost I was waiting for. I kept waiting to feel like I was ready to write again, waiting until some of the 200 books I read on research material for my stories or how to write better would give me some flash of inspiration, like "Here! This is your brilliant novel! Now go forth, publish, and be rich and fruitful!"

You know what it was in the end?

When November 1st rolled around, there was no flash. It's still not there. I still don't know whether or not my novels are any good, and certainly not whether or not they can succeed. But I remembered just how much I love to write. And knowing that fact, that I haven't lost the love for the biggest part of my life, has reawakened my love for myself. I am someone who writes. And that makes me someone I can love.

WIN

I think I'm going to do this.

I did it.

50,031, baby!

I have officially crossed the finish line of NaNoWriMo, 14 days earlier than planned, about 8 years later than I'd hoped, and about 8 years earlier than I expected.

I've never managed to write so fast in my entire life, and it has left my head reeling. I've got that crazy, half-sick, half-thrilled feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster, going up the first incline. There's one second where you're at the top and you can see the now-nauseatingly high drop that didn't seem so bad before. Then you're flying and it's incredible. (Hopefully this does not end with you racing for the nearest waste receptacle as soon as you get off.)

My story seems to be about a quarter of the way finished. This is another first for me. In the past, I've had real difficulty with length, struggling to hit 80,000 with my first novel. I know that word count is generally a very wonky thing, where some publishers accept 70,000, others 100,000, and still others anything under, over, or in between. But even though I plan to self-publish, I do want to put out a finished product that isn't just good-looking, but also has some meat on its bones.

I'm looking forward to finishing this novel, and then immediately jumping back to my 7/8 finished second novel, which has been waiting patiently since I finished college for me to give it a fair shot. Technically, I'd say it's the most well-written of the three, so it deserves a chance. And for the first time in my life, I really do feel like a writer.

So yeah, I win.

I win, I win, I WIN, I WIN, I WIN!

(See show or listen to track "Son of Great Big Stuff." You'll get it.)

Inspiration: winning Lindsay Buroker's Amazon giveaway contest for writers on track with their word counts! I think this may have been the first money I've ever earned from my writing. It's certainly a good feeling. I'll have to keep doing this! 

Music: background noise of early - and terrible! - episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Thank the stars for Patrick Stewart - he is currently the show's only saving grace. I loved DS9, though, so I'm more than willing to give this a chance to grow on me.

More Than Halfway There

35,039 words, people.

I'm starting to scare myself. I'm really, actually going to do this.

Awesome.

And then, of course, more awesome below:

NaNoWriMo Mystery Forums
(images courtesy of NaNo, Ava Jae's Writability blog, and Airawyn's tumblr - thanks guys!)

I'd post the image, but it appears to be in bits and pieces. Just go underneath "fluffy" and enjoy. I did.

Anyway, since pictures spice up the blog a little, here's a cat. Because they're also fluffy. And awesome.

(Image courtesy of Dynasticqueen on Wordpress)

Inspiration: Ward Pound Ridge Reservation in Westchester, NY. Now in fictionalized form as the trail between Cobalton and Gridelin, which my characters are currently traversing.

Music: the OST and Image Albums of "Spirited Away." That movie is art. If you have not seen it, see it. Now. Seriously, everything else can wait.

A Marathon Day

I did this. Wow. P.S. Image comes from www.nanowrimo.org. Check it out!

I survived the first NaNo marathon on Saturday.

Please note, this is relevant because as it happens, I actually ran this time: 7,500+ words in one day.

I am now up to 34,154 words. I doubt I'll hit 50,000 before the 15th, but the fact that I'm likely to actually hit it at all this year, let alone before the 30th just astounds me. I've never written so fast, fluidly, or consistently in my entire life.

What do you know? It kind of seems like maybe I could make a living at this! :)



Inspiration: watching Thor's "The Dark World" and thoroughly enjoying Tom Hiddleston hamming it up as Loki. I want to write characters like him one day!

Music: more Joe Hisaishi soundtracks, because I am totally obsessed with his music. Ayaka Hirahara singing "Inochi no Namae" (go check it out on Youtube!) just gets me every time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

See above. I just wanted to let you know I've joined the NaNoWriMo noveling marathon today. I'm up to 4,003 words and counting for the day, 26,585 total. :)

The Doldrums

The doldrums.

Apparently originally used to refer to a marine area just around the equator where the waters are perpetually calm, making it difficult to sail.

That first, frantic, delighted burst of novelmania has worn off, and I've settled down to the long haul that has traditionally represented the middle of my stories. This is the part where I've most consistently flown off course, or simply drifted into the Bermuda Triangle, never to be heard from again.

I have noted differences, however, between this trip into the deep and those preceding it. First of all, I still want to write. I've continued to hammer out words, although not at nearly so voracious a pace, despite having had a hellishly busy and annoying week at work. I had a presentation on Monday, meetings Wednesday and Thursday morning, and was on the desk many of my remaining hours, dealing with our eclectic and not always patient group of patrons.

I respect the workers in my profession, but I really believe I was meant to hide behind a desk, in a room with a cat, writing stories. I'm happiest there, even if I'm not making a dime. When I'm writing, that's when the people I meet get to see the real me, the one who's excited to be where she is. When I write, there's an inner glow that's hard to mistake.

This time, I have an entire weekend with nothing ahead of me. No OCD lists to complete (more about those some other time, when we have a full therapy session to devote to my neuroses), no chores, no family events, and most of our friends are busy or out of town. I'm just going to write. If I've earned it in my word count, I may treat myself to seeing the new "Thor" movie I've been looking forward to.

22,582 down, 27,418 words to go.

This time, I'm getting out of the doldrums even if I have to get out and push the boat forward.

Inspiration: getting out of my job, and the satisfaction of seeing that little blue bar that marks my daily NaNoWriMo word count go up and up and up

Music: Maaya Sakamoto's Live "We Are Kazyomi" tour, and Joe Hisaishi's "Melody Blvd."  Also the annoyingly catchy song "You've Got Possibilities," from the unlamented Superman musical.

Go, Go, NaNoWriMo!

So here I am again, managing to actually get several blog posts out in the span of less than a week. And believe it or not, this is actually in spite of the fact that not only am I keeping up with NaNoWriMo, I'm getting ahead.

It's Day 5, and I haven't started working on my novel yet for the day. By the end of today, I should have a total of 8,335 words to stay on track and finish on time.

Let's hear it for the girl: 16,097.

Yes, that's right. Almost double what I should have. And counting.

NaNoWriMo's wonderful, wonderful word tracker tells me all of these cool stats, like how many words I've written per day on average, and how long it will take me to finish if I keep going at this rate. Right now, I should be on track to hit 50,000 by November 14th, and if I keep going, by the time NaNo ends, I should have written somewhere around 120,000 words!

So in honor of all these cool facts, I present to you:

Maneki-neko, translated to mean "happy or lucky cat." Photo courtesy of the maneki-neko Wikipedia page.

It's a good day. Now, time to get back to noveling!



Music: Sukima Switch's Kuusou Clip (whoever said they're the Japanese Steely Dan was right), the soundtrack for the Pokemon Kyurem and the Sacred Swordsman movie, and the crickets chirping in all the empty seats for last night's presentation at work. Four people, one not even a resident, and none who will retain a shred of what I told them.

Inspiration: my vast collection of notes explaining the ecosystem and back-story of my world.

In the Past

This is going to be a short post, because I'm beat.

But I just wanted let the world at large know that I am not a one-day wonder. I have, in fact, doubled my word count from around 4,000 to 8,000. I know, it's only a small fraction of 50,000, but it's more than I had yesterday, and it didn't even take up my entire day. I wrote in the afternoon, added stuff to my Skydrive to back it up, looked at photos of cute cats, and wrote again in the evening.

It's 9:00 and I'm not entirely sure I'm done for the night. I likely am, because I can rapidly feel burnout approaching, but I'm thoroughly satisfied with how I've progressed up until now. If I can continue at this pace, it will really help if I have to miss a day because of work, moving hassles, or general craziness.

As for the story itself, surprisingly it has remained on the rails thus far. I'm trying desperately to hug my outline like it's my last hope for survival, but I've never been particularly good at adhering to outlines in the past.

Then again, I present to you this inspirational dialogue from The Lion King, quotes taken direct from IMDB:


Rafiki: It doesn't matter. It's in the past. [laughs] 
Adult Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts. 
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it. 


Time to put the past in the past, learn from it, and win NaNoWriMo.



Inspirations: way too much information on skydiving, ejection seats, the height of mountain ranges, and hydroelectric power.

Music: the sounds of a wrestling promo by Davey Richards, background music from cool game husband is playing called Miasmata, and the ever-familiar sounds of Pokemon X and Y, which my husband is currently going through and which I have already logged over 40 hours in and still counting.

Who's Awesome?

Why, yes, in fact. You're absolutely right.

I am.

The brilliant Stephen Sondheim once wrote, in the beautiful song Finishing the Hat, the following lyrics:

"Look, I made a hat!
Where there never was a hat!"

Indeed, as we speak, there reside 4,069 words in a beautiful line that were not there when I woke up this morning. Not only did I write my required quotient for the first day of NaNoWriMo, I've written tomorrow's and part of Sunday's as well. But I don't plan to take it easy.

Despite a lousy day at work, and a noisy evening at home which consisted of my husband and his friend watching their beloved wrestling matches at top volume, I have persevered and succeeded. Think what I could do on a less busy and less stressful day.

For the first time in a long while, I have my confidence back. I'm not sure whether it's getting married, getting a house, or just plain getting sick of going nowhere at work, but I'm not scared of the writing anymore. The words are pretty terrible and disjoined in places, but there are sentences, and I'm pretty sure they're somewhere approaching coherent. It's a lousy start, but it's a start.

And besides, if the NaNo pep talkers are anything to go by, maybe first drafts are always supposed to be punishingly bad. Maybe that's how nature weeds out the bad novelists? If you're not really dedicated, you will never get to the diamond in the rough.

Well, that's what I'm hoping anyway. Because rough going or not, I'm forging full-speed ahead.



INSPIRATION: the deep pink clouds of sunset and the blanket of fallen orange leaves coating the grass by the side of the highway

MUSIC: horrendous karaoke from when I was in college that I was uploading to Skydrive. For completion's sake and because I never delete anything, not because I actually thought I could sing in college. Seriously. I swear.

Hello World

Hello again!

So what's new?

Well, since you last heard from me, I've just kind of been hanging around...getting married, going on a honeymoon to Disney World, and buying a house and getting ready to move into it.

Wow.

So I'm still recovering from the whirlwind that has been my life for the past couple of months, and what do I do to relax?

You guessed it, folks: that crazy writer girl is going to do NaNoWriMo.

Okay, so I'm a little busy with my full-time job, the holidays, packing up and getting ready to move, etc. But you know what? I actually haven't felt this psyched about writing in a long time. I literally can't wait to start. I'm so eager to write that I've actually done a 792 word first chapter of a story I'm not intending to work on, several forum posts on the NaNo site, and this blog post.

It feels fabulous.

Do you ever get nostalgia for what it was like to be a kid? Do you remember the feeling that the world was yours to take, and that anything you imagined could come true? When I went to Disney, I got some of that feeling back, the feeling people can create a fantasy that will last and encompass others within it. I told my husband (and no, calling him that is not going to get old anytime soon!) that I was tired of feeling like I couldn't do it. For nearly two years I've been stuck in a job that isn't "writer." And if I want out, I can't just send in a resume to Writers 'R Us. I have to have some serious Butt In Chair time, and I have to stop doubting myself.

So come hell, high water, Hurricane Sandy Junior, or moving vans, this is darn well going to be the year.

Wish me luck!